And, like many... when you go through a period of your life where it seems like you've made more than your fair share of mistakes, it's easy to let those questions and negativity take root in your mind.
Faith can get one through even the toughest of times... but our human weaknesses seem to get the best of us far more often than it ever should.
We're SUPPOSED to not worry. We're SUPPOSED to trust that this is the plan.
Yet do we?
With all of questions and doubts and failures... every now and then a moment of clarity comes shining through and you realize that despite it all, you're doing exactly what you should be.
If you're asking why a silly senior blog is suddenly so serious and deep... I'm not really sure why. All I know is that I got a message last night from this senior girl's father... and instead of my words bringing others to the point of tears... for once... it was the other way around.
In a poignant moment between two God-fearing men, Shawn Hoskins took a moment from his busy schedule to send me a message. In part, it went like this:
"Bryan, I came home from the game tonight and my wife had me get on Facebook to see what you had posted. I am speechless.... I can't thank you enough. I was told many years ago by my Grandfather to cherish the time that I get with my children because they grow up so fast. He said, "Shawn, you only get 18 summers with them... so enjoy it." As I now approach #18, I am wishing time would slow way down. So I thank you for giving us these wonderful photos to always remember this time in our lives."
Maybe it was the fact that I just went through watching MY only daughter graduate, marry and move away within the last half year... Or maybe the stress from the holiday season and all of its deadlines was getting the best of me. Or maybe just making way too many mistakes over the past few years and not slowing things down enough to stop and smell the roses... overwhelmed me.
Regardless... it was my turn to let someone else's words make me emotional. I doubt that was Shawn's intent... but it happened... and there was no stopping it.
I know I'm not the only parent to ever feel this. And clearly, Mr. Hoskins is getting the first tastes of it. Maybe since he recognizes it... he'll look back in a year and be glad he took more time with his flag bearin', phone totin', confetti blowin adorable baby girl.
Your Grandfather was a very smart man, Shawn... And while I know Kylee doesn't play golf for East Marshall... I'm glad you are pausing to watch her make that walk up her 18th "fairway." There's still lots of time for many memories to be made... both before and after graduation day.
For the most part, my kids will vouch that I'm just a dumb dad that has done his best to never grow up. Yet, they've turned out pretty well despite my efforts. I don't think there's any one of us that doesn't have regrets... or doesn't wish for time to slow down... just like you, Mr. Hoskins.
I took a few minutes during your daughter's session to encourage her to chase her dreams. If she really wants to be a marine biologist... then gol darn it... she should! And as I was saying that... I could see the doubts... questions and negativity telling her it wasn't gonna happen.
Maybe I was just a blow-hard blabber mouth. I've been known. But you never know what impact your words might have on someone. And I don't know a whole lot... but what I do know is... it's not hard to be nice to someone... or to encourage them.
I'm thankful that God gives me the opportunity to do so every day... and I thank Shawn for returning the favor... whether he knew how much it meant to me or not. Sure, this thing I do is "just senior pictures." But I know at least one dad... and maybe a few others... this experience is more than that. And if that's the case... I'm exactly where I need to be.
Hang on to those dreams, Kylee Marie... and that cross around your neck... anything is possible.
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